Feeling hopeless about being childfree not by choice? You're not alone. Our society often fails to acknowledge this painful experience. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Learn how to overcome the hopelessness and reclaim your joy. Visit liferesetspecialist.com to discover more. Share your story with us in the comments below. #childfreelife #childfreenotbychoice #hopeless #grief

Are you struggling with the grief of being childfree, not by choice? This post offers guidance to overcome the hopelessness. Read more: https://www.liferesetspecialist.com/overcome-the-hopelessness-you-may-feel-being-childfree-not-by-choice Take the first step towards healing. Visit the blog now.

It can be isolating and lonely. The number 1 thing I see people who are childfree not by choice say is that they feel like an outsider, like they don't fit anymore. They are so lonely. But, you don't have to stay lonely. There are millions of people, just like you, who are also lonely, seeking companionship. My advice is find a group to join, reach out to other people. Spend time volunteering, look for an interest based group. On Facebook there are looks of very active childfree not by choice groups, walking groups, lonely girl groups, and female only travelling groups. On meet up. On eventbrite. The best thing you could ever do for yourself is get involved in a community. Surround yourself with people who get, maybe not fully, but they understand isolation and loneliness. The beautiful thing about life is that we are more alike than we are different, and even though it can feel as though you are going through it alone. You just haven't met your squad yet. Put yourself out there. You can do it. Love, Laura 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 Check on my YT channel for more indepth videos: @liferesetspecialistcnbc Work with me 121: Book you free Life Reset Consult Join the waitlist for next support group cohort All links in bio. #childfreelife #childfreenotbychoice #childlessness #childlessbycircumstance #childfree #ivffail #divorce #infertilitysupport #resilience

It can be so easy to lose faith, be angry with the universe, God, whoever. To feel like it's all out of your control. There is a societal narrative that can be damaging to many, which is that with the law of attraction we can manifest anything. And when it doesn't happen, you did something wrong, or there's another blessing coming in it's place. It sets us up to think that we don't have control or of we do have control we did something wrong. There are so many things we don't know about our food quality, our water and air quality that could've lead to an epigenetic change in our genes over years, leading to infertility. It could've been medical gaslighted and not being taken seriously enough at a younger age. It could be personal trauma you suffered. It could be any number of reasons that no matter how hard we wished it to be true it didn't happen. And that's hard. And it can make you angry. And it can make you sad. All perfectly valid feelings. But, don't blame yourself. Don't punish yourself. It's not because you didn't do something right or that someone "up there" isn't favouring you. This didn't work out how you'd hoped. All you can do is work through the pain, sadness, anger and despair and start to rebuild your new version of reality. What well meaning "woo woo" things were you told? Let me know in the comments. Love Laura #Infertility ##childfreenotbychoice #involuntarychildlessness #embracingchildless #ivffail #ivftrauma

My clients tell me they wish they could say things to people they love and in their social circles but don't want to appear rude. These are some of the things they would love you to know. Mostly all that we want is: Compassion. Acceptance. Love. Connection. Be kind. Love Laura 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 To work with me: 1. Book free Consultation via link in bio 2. Book a space on the next support group All links in bio.

Quite a common fear among the childfree not by choice community is that they will be alone forever, die alone, have noone to care of them when they are older. The reality is, that it could be anyone, with children, without children. Married, divorced, widowed. The positive news is building community is the antidote to that. Finding like-minded friends, neighbours, colleagues, spiritual or religious based communities, friends from the gym or yoga class, the reteat down the road that provides food to their community from their garden. The places to find your tribe are endless. Building community is the most positive thing that anyone can do for their lives. If that seems scary, then work through those feelings first, or seek to support to help you be less socially anxious and then go seek a community. If you don't even remember who you are anymore or what you like, do some work on self awareness and value building on your own or with a therapist. Make your end goal finding community and handle all the other bumps as they come up. Fears lose their power when we take action to achieve a goal that feels more powerful. Love Laura x 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 To work with me: 1. Book your free consult via link in bio 2. Join the 6 week support group starting Mon 15th July. #supportgroup #childlessbycircumstance #childfreelife #ivffailure #communitysupport #childlessnotbychoice

I know the narrative you've been fed since you were old enough to walk. Little girls play with dolls because they love to nurture. Little girls love to nurture. Little girls are waiting to be chosen. But.... 💭 what if noone gave you that doll? 💭 What if Disney didn't make cartoons of girls longing to be rescued 💭 What if society didn't shame girls about their sexualith and sensuality? 💭 What if noone ever said to you that when you grow up you'll have family of your own? 💭 What if you never heard the term "your biological clock is ticking?" Would you still feel like a failure for not becoming a mother? Remember we operate in theta state until we are 6 or 7 years old. That means our brains soak up everything we're told. Our beliefs start to form about ourselves, our environment, our life. So, what if all those things that we'll meaning people do and say is just passed down junk or outdated thinking from previous generations. How would you know you were the "odd one out." ? Define for yourself what it means to be a woman. That's the only definition you need. Everything else is noise and other people's standards. Love Laura 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 To work with me, you can: 1. Book a free Life Reset Consult 2. Join my upcoming support group Link in bio. #ivftrauma #ivffail #childfreelife #infertilitysupport #empoweredwomen #embracingchange

She said to me:, "everywhere I look Laura... every damn place, the product or service is for mothers. That means not me. Not me because I'm a failure as a woman. Not me because I didn't get into that cool club either Not me because I don't get to experience what they're doing or having children. Not me because I don't "understand" what having children is like." And then she sobbed. Uncontrollably. "No one ever asks me how it feels not to have children, she whispered. To not fit into any group of women anymore. To not be able to look my friends in the eye when they talk about how annoying their kids are. To not get invited to the only parties they're having now. " If you can relate to this... then join my 6 week online support group for women and men who are childless not by choice. £85 for 6 weeks. Less than the price of one regular therapy session. Join Because you want: - Community - Support - Tools to help you - To find a way forward - To be heard and understood - To create emotional healing Small group of max 12 people. Link in comment to join. Love Laura 💚 #involuntarychildlessness #griefjourney #griefsupport #infertilitysupport ##childfreenotbychoice #womenempowerment #childlessbycircumstance

This article is so toxic. I am not a Taylor Swift fan mostly because my taste in music is different and I'm not one for hype. All that being said, this article uses the the fact that at 34 she is unmarried and childless - as though that is anyone else's business but her own. Not to mention the fact that it imposes a belief on women that what they should all be aspiring to be, rather than someone whose influence spans across multiple generations and changes people's lives if she shines her light on it, is a wife and a mother. It's so narrow minded and ignorant. She knows nothing of Taylor's fertility or wants and needs. Also, it takes away the fact that people can have someone who they admire, worship even and make their own life choices. Many people have circumstantial reasons why they don't have children, some have partner related issues. The important point is we don't know what Taylor's choices are and quite frankly, it's none of our business. Love her, hate her, irrelevant. Women can be more than a wife. Women can be more than mothers. Women can be wildly successful and influential. Women can make their own life choices. Women sometimes have those choices reduced. Life doesn't end at 30 for Women. Rant over. #taylorswifterastour #childfreelife #childfreenotbychoice #womenempowerment #childlessbycircumstance

There's a huge misunderstanding around this topic, so here is what it's like for me, as a woman, not as a therapist. This is a realisation and acceptance that has happened over time for me. I went through multiple rounds of grieving. Sometimes, it was related to what was happening in my life. Sometimes, it was related to what someone said. Sometimes, it was just a moment of realisation. But, for the most part, it's now an accepted part of my life and that's allowed me to get on with living. And that living is good. - I get to do things I love for work - I get to say no to people I don't want to work with - I get to spend time with my nephew and have a great relationship with him - I get to go where I want when I want to - I get to spend money on experiences that bring me joy - I get to share and be there for friends who are sharing their pregnancy joys and journeys There are times when I still think about knowing what it's like to have that unconditional love, but then I spend time with my nephew and I remember I have it. I am fortunate to have my parents still and my sister who all live close to me, so I get to be involved in their lives. I am fortunate that my partner has children and that he shares his joys, hopes and fears about his children with me. Mostly, my life is like yours, even if you have children. There's not a huge hole in my life, there's no longer an emptiness. Life is up and down but mostly it's good. People still tell me I can adopt, foster, have children until I'm 50. I thank them and say it's no longer my dream. I have a realigned my priorities. I am 5 years into my acceptance journey and I went though 5 years of hell before that. So, I'm pretty well versed now. What is it like for you? Share with me in DM or comments. Love, Laura 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 #childfreenotbychoice #infertilitysupport #ivftrauma #childfreelife #griefjourney #embracingchildless

Identity crisis hits you like freight train. You had a plan for your life, a vision for your future, you knew exactly where you fit in. Then, one day, in a moment, it changed. That future dream of: being a parent, being at the school gates, making new mommy friends finding new buddies to run, cycle, watch football with guiding someone's life being at their wedding having someone to look out for you as you age Gone. Then... where do I fit in now? Who am I now? Well, the beautiful thing about you and humanity is that we're not just one thing. We're filled with ideas, passions, values, strengths, knowledge, desires, adventure. You were never going to "just" be a parent. So now, even though, it's not the choice you would've made or wanted to make, you now you can explore other aspects of your character. Always wanted to: - travel - spend 3 to 12 months being a nomad - take up golf - learn to dive - learn a new language - change careers - volunteer - start a band - support your parents Go back to those childhood dreams, you'll find some good glimmers in there and do it. Immerse yourself in "trying on" new things. You are more than you think you are!! Love, Laura 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 Book your free Life Reset Consult and let's get your transformation under way. In 6 months it's 2025. Don't let time pass you by. #lifecoaching #infertilitysupport #childfreenotbychoice ##involuntarychildlessness #embracingchildless #embracingchange

"Who am I if I am not a parent?" Such a common question that gets asked amongst people learning that or coming to terms with the fact that they won't become a parent. After all, wasn't that the blueprint we were given for life? Grow up, find someone to love and marry, start a family, live happily ever after. Especially, those of us born in the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s. Nevermind Disney's cartoon portrayal of love and life. Don't even get me started on that! Navigating the emotional turbulence of being childfree not by choice can be incredibly challenging. No part more so than when it comes to redefining your identity. The first thing to realise is that we, as humans, are multi faceted and that includes your identity. Society likes to box us and categorise us... genX, mellinials, Boomers, LBGTQ, career woman, wild woman, bachelor, hippie... you get the picture. Don't get me wrong finding your tribe can be wildly exhilarating, but we grow and we change. And as we do, we outgrow our "boxes" or identities. So the journey to answering the question of who are you now, if you are not a parent, starts with relearning who you are. Who you are without the pressure that comes with fertility journeys, because I know, that defines your life for up to a decade, for some. You can start by asking yourself: - what did I enjoy doing before this period of my life? - what am I passionate about? - what do I find rewarding? - what feels fulfilling? - what are my strengths? - what do I value? These will help you start to rebuild how you see yourself. It's important to grieve the loss you may feel about not being a parent and the loss of time and life whilst on the journey. You are not defined as one thing, but rather by your character, your passions, your values. And you can have a rich, fulfilling life beyond parenthood. Love Laura 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 How to work with me: - Book your free Reset Your Life Consult https://tidycal.com/liferesetspecialist/initial-consult I offer therapeutic support around grief, acceptance, emotional healing, trauma healing and creating a rewarding future #infertilitysupport #childfreelife

Even though I am trained as a psychotherapist, I didn't fully comprehend the lived experience of how soul destroying the loss of hope is to work through. Loss of a potential future is one thing, but actually giving up on the hope it would work out. That was savage. And it happened repeatedly for me. It had my questioning everything. Hope is such a powerful coping strategy for hard life stuff. We hope: - that things will get better - that people will change - that a new situation will be different But, noone helped me realise that reassigning hope to a new avenue that may make me feel better would feel worse every time that didn't work out. In my job in Sales, I'd always say to my sales team, hope is not a strategy and I feel like I wish someone had told me that about accepting an involuntary childfree life. Only once I really started to work on accepting that no avenue will bring me what I wanted did I start to rebuild my life. It's one of the reasons I am so passionate about the work I do, helping people short cut that period. Hope delays grief. Which delays true acceptance. Which delays moving forward. And we all get there in our own time, but understanding that something that could be so well meaning and so seemingly positive turned out to be so damaging for me, could help save someone else the delayed and repeated heartbreak. To work with me: - Book your Reset Your Life Consult through link in my bio - DM me - Email me - WhatsApp me When you're ready to embrace life beyond parenthood let's chat about how I can support you through the steps. #involuntarychildlessness #ivftrauma #infertilitysupport #childfreenotbychoice #griefjourney

Wishing all those men who would have loved to be a father love and healing today. #infertilitysupport #maleinfertility #malechildlessness #menhealth

"You can always adopt." What not to say to say when someone tells you they can't have children. It's the one thing that a couple hears religiously. Like they haven't thought about it, considered it, even. 🤦‍♀️ This statement can be hurtful and insensitive, putting unnecessary pressure on child-free couples to justify their choices, which are quite frankly no one else's business.... Not the potential grandparents, the potential aunts or uncles, friends, social acquitances. So.... Next time someone tells you they can't have children, rather be supportive and show empathy. Remember that they will be going through lots of big emotions as is without needing to feel unsupported. #infertilitysupport #Infertility #therapytips #therapyworks #lifejourney

Realising that you won't have children can leave you with a sense of lost identity, like you're not quite sure who you are or where you belong. This feeling can be incredibly disorienting and unsettling, leaving you with a deep sense of confusion and insecurity. Emotionally, you may feel lost, disconnected, and out of touch with yourself and your surroundings. In your mind, you may be grappling with thoughts like: - "Who am I, now?" - "What is my purpose in life?" - "I don't recognise myself anymore." - "I feel like I've lost a part of myself." Visually, you may see yourself as a shadow of your former self, struggling to find your way back to a sense of authenticity and self-assurance. This can be a lonely and isolating experience, but it's important to remember that you're not alone. Many people struggle with feelings of lost identity at some point in their lives. Therapy can be a valuable tool in helping you rediscover and redefine your sense of self. In therapy you can explore your values, beliefs, and goals, and begin to rebuild a strong and authentic sense of identity. Remember, it's okay to seek support and guidance as you navigate this journey of self-discovery. You deserve to feel whole and connected to yourself once again. 💖 Book your free Consultation through link in bio or sending me a DM #infertilitysupport #Infertility #childfreenotbychoice #childlessness #childlessbycircumstance #childfree #childfreelife #beyondparenthood #ivftrauma

1 in 5 couples in the UK are child free. With an estimated 10% consciously choosing to be so. Below I've listed some of the devastating reasons why the other 90% may be child free not by choice. 1. Previous pregnancy related complications such as: - recurring miscarriages - Still born birth - ectopic pregnancy 2. IVF trauma - the physical, emotional, psychological and financial stress, strain and burden. The cycle of hope and devastation. The procedures and doctors. 3. Partner related circumstances: - not finding a partner or the right partner to raise children with - partner can't have children - partner doesn't want children 4. Age related circumstances: - Life happened and one day your eggs are geriatric and not functioning - choosing career - waiting to be stable financially, emotionally 5. Personal life trauma: - Abuse - Emotional neglect - Intimacy related abuse - Upbringing 6. Personal Circumstances: - Lack of family support - Lack of access to treatment - Financial constraints 7. Unexplained Infertility: - Stress, burnout - Metabolic related causes 8. Medical Infertility: - Defective gene carrier - Chronic or terminal illness - Early life viral infections - Cancer - PCOS There are commonalities amongst all these and that is the toll on one's mental health, physical health, soul, relationship and social life. There's not an area of life left unaffected by needing to accept this reality and loss of a future. The need for support, understanding and compassion is real. #childlessnotbychoice #childfreeafterinfertility #childlessbycircumstance #infertilitysupport

Lovely testimonial from a client. If you're ready to start your journey to embracing a new future, DM.me to book your free Reset Your Life Consult. Or click the link in my bio and schedule yourself right in. There's no better time to start than right now. #therapy #resetyourlife #childfreeafterinfertility #childlessnotbychoice #childlessbycircumstance

What does your perfect life look like? Share it with me in connected or DMs #lifecoaching #lifereset #therapyworks

For the last self compassion development exercise, today, we are going to give ourselves permission to say no. All too often we say yes when we don't want to, or accept more of something without even giving permission. And it's exhausting. Especially, when you're already spinning and tired and feeling broken. So. If you want to learn what is like to feel what no feels like, start to practice this embodiment technique: - stand with one foot in front of the other - hips facing forward - weight 60% distributed to the front - non dominant hand in a fist resting near hip bone - dominant hant straight out hand up (as per picture) in front of heart or slightly to the side Be here for 30 to 60 seconds and start to feel the power of no. Then use that energy to say no to something you don't want to accept today and give yourself a reminder that just for today you're standing more in your own power and that it will all be okay. Let me know in the comments how it feels to say no. Is it easy or tough for you? What will you day no to today? #lifecoachingtips #selfcompassion #burnoutrecovery #divorcerecovery #infertilitysupport

For the 2nd technique to develop your self compassion we are going to adopt a version of the Loving Kindness Meditation. This is very powerful as it helps us to: 🙌 develop empathy for others and self 🙌 quietens our noisy, critical minds 🙌 reminds us that we are not alone 🙌 harness more positive emotional states 🙌 feel more connected energetically to the world around and in us The idea is to find a few moments to centre yourself, I.e. come I to a stoll place in your body, becoming more aware of yourself and surroundings and repeat each "verse" 3 x. First, you are sending compassion to yourself Then to a loved one Then an acquitance Then someone you dislike or feel neutral towards Finally, to all sentient beings It shouldn't take more than 5 mins. I used to do it when I was sitting in traffic to quickly bring myself back into a more harmonious state. Done over time it makes a huge difference to your positive feelings towards yourself and others. Let me know in the comments if you're going to try this one and/ or how this feels in your body to do. What small shifts do you notice? #lovingkindness #selfcompassion #therapyworks

For the next 3 days including today, I am going to give you one technique per day to help you develop your own self compassion. Today's is a compassionate centered mantra: " I am enough just as I am" I want tou to repeat it to yourself whenever the critical mind starts to kick in. When you do, I want you to start to become aware of the changes it makes in your body as you repeat it versus when your inner critic is talking. This is a reminder that as you are right now is enough. You can only be as good as you are now and that's okay. You can only do what you can do right now. We're not saying you couldn't change, grow or develop but for right now, you are enough as you are. Give it a go and tell me in the comments if you're going to committ to the next 3 days of technique trying. #selfcompassion #lifecoaching #therapyworks

"Perfectionism and the inner critic are manifestations of shame." These words, spoken by author and speaker Gretchen Rubin, encapsulate the profound impact that shame can have on our lives. Perfectionism, the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, and the inner critic, the voice inside our heads that constantly tells us we are not good enough, are both rooted in feelings of shame and inadequacy. Perfectionism often stems from a deep-seated fear of failure and rejection. We strive for perfection in an attempt to prove our worth and value to ourselves and others. However, this relentless pursuit of flawlessness can be exhausting and ultimately unattainable. Perfectionism can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and self-doubt, as we struggle to meet impossibly high standards and expectations. Similarly, the inner critic, that nagging voice inside our heads that tells us we are not good enough or that we don't measure up, is a manifestation of shame. This inner critic is often fueled by negative self-talk, self-criticism, and fear of judgment from others. It can prevent us from taking risks, trying new things, and embracing our vulnerabilities. The inner critic can also chip away at our self-esteem and confidence, leaving us feeling small and insignificant. It is essential to recognise and challenge these manifestations of shame in order to live a more fulfilling and authentic life. By acknowledging and working towards accepting our imperfections, embracing our vulnerabilities, and practicing self-compassion, we can start to break free from the grip of perfectionism and the inner critic. Surrounding ourselves with supportive and understanding individuals, practicing gratitude, and engaging in activities that bring us joy and fulfillment can also help combat feelings of shame and inadequacy. Remember, you are not defined by your mistakes, flaws, or shortcomings. Perfectionism and the inner critic are not reflections of your worth as a person. By acknowledging and addressing these manifestations of shame, you can begin to cultivate a healthier and more compassionate relationship with yourself.

They didn't recognise it for what it actually was and it was keeping them stuck. Many of my clients, before working with me, were behaving in ways that were hurting their lives and relationships: such as anger, addictive behaviours, isolating themselves, panic or extreme anxiety or sometimes burnout from trying to maintain the facade of perfection. What they didn't realise was that the master emotion driving the behaviour was often Shame. Shame is so powerful but very often it coexists with other emotions such as anger, fear, grief, guilt, etc. so it often gets overlooked. Shame likes to stay hidden away, so it's not always immediately obvious either. Shame keeps us in a cycle of behaviour we dont like but can't seem to stop because it's helping quiet the noise, ➡️ then self critism comes, ➡️ isolation happens,➡️ rumination, ➡️more acting out, ➡️attacking self or others,➡️ isolation, ➡️rumination... on and on... It's perpetual and self feeding. Often the self criticism and intense feelings of shame lead to suicide ideation especially when left unhealed. When I start working with someone, I always try to identify shame and guilt because it can really get in the way of therapy working if not addressed. In many cases, helping someone identify emotions or drivers of behaviour is the easiest step to starting the healing process. I've watched significant changes in my clients happen when they start to accept all their emotions and understand why they are behaving in that way and which emotion or part of themselves is driving it. We are not always operating in our adult rational brain and being able to see the difference helps empower you to create new choices. It helps self compassion develop. Empowering someone with awareness, resources and tools to heal themselves. After all, all healing is self healing. Therapy is a tool in the process. So, if you're stuck in a cycle of behaviour that's not serving you, ask yourself, what's really driving it and if you need help unlocking it, DM me and let's see if we can unlock it together in a free consult. #therapytips #shame #selfhealers

It's time. Your time. It doesn't matter where you're starting from. It doesn't even matter how long it's going to take. All that matters is you get to choose the future you create. Start today. By autumn: - you could be thinking in a whole new way - you could have made a life changing choice that you're now living - you could have more happy moments than sad ones - you could feel more filled with purpose and peace - you could be less anxious and more comfortable - you could be setting strong boundaries - you could feel comfortable making choices that are for you - you could enjoy getting up every day - you could even feel like you're not going 10 rounds in a boxing match every day. and imagine not feeling exhausted just by the noise in your head. It's all possible. So start now. Do it for you. Do it for 3 months from now you. Do it for a magical Xmas you. And if you need support to make any of those happen, then DM me and let's get you booked in for a free Life Reset Consult to see if we are a good match to help you transform and reach your vision. #junebeginnings #newme #lifecoaching

You don't need to be tough on yourself to achieve. In fact research shows that the kinder, more compassionate you are to yourself the more you will accomplish. Try it for the day. Just for today, speak to yourself as though you were speaking to a young child who is learning. Nurturing, kindedness, more softness. It may feel foreign at first, especially, if you're used to saying things like: "oh, you're so stupid." "Oh, come on, man up, get up, let's go." Even when you're exhausted. When that little voice starts to criticise you, tells you that you're not doing enough, being enough, fast enough, etc... quiet it with today I'm enough as I am in this moment. Let me know how you get on or if you've adopted a more compassionate tone with yourself recently, let me know in the comments how this has helped you.

Myth busting: Self compassion is not self indulgence. Self compassion is vital in your healing journey. There is no toxic positivity in it either. Self compassion allows us to acknowledge that things are hard right now, that we're in pain or that we didn't know better at the time. And have it be okay for this moment. It's about quieting the critical mind and giving yourself the empathy you'd give someone else or a child. It makes a huge difference to helping you move forward in your growth and development. Get on the waitlist for my personal development short course packed with tips and techniques to support your own self compassion journey. DM for details or check out the link in my bio. #therapytips #lifecoaching #personaldevelopmentcoach

Go do that thing. Start today. Do it anyway.

Often, especially when going through stressful and challenging times of change, such as divorce, infertility, redundancy, health diagnosis it can feel like there is very little to laugh about. But, this is where some real therapeutic magic can be found. Finding a way to release some emotional energy through laughter can help change your overall state and lessen the burden for that moment. It can happen that by breaking your stressed state in this way can allow new ideas or solutions to filter through and sometimes it's just about the feel good factor of endorphin release. So today, I encourage you to find something to laugh about and share this strategy with someone who could use a little lighter energy in their lives. Even for a moment. #therapytips ##lifecoaching #laughteristhebestmedicine

One consistent piece of feedback that I get from my clients (and some of my friends) is that I see right through them. There's no hiding from me. It's like I read their mind. It's one of my therapy super powers. I learned it by becoming hypervigilant when I was younger. When I was going through some tough times growing up, I learned to read the situations, the room, the people to know what was going to happen next. So, I could be prepared. I also have highly natural intuitive abilities. 🤷‍♀️ But, what may have started off as a protection strategy has lead me to being able to help my clients unlock things within them that has lead to life changing healing for them. Equally, it gives me about of experience to be able to relate to their situations. Two sides of the same coin, where there is darkness, light can be found. Do you have a characteristic that may not have been seen as positive but has turned out to add massive value to you or someone else? #lifecoaching #therapyworks ##lifejourney

When you're going through challenge after challenge or even a year later when it's all stopped but life didn't improve... in fact, in your eyes it got worse. The noise in your head, the overwhelming feelings that consume you, the inability to see the wood from the trees. Try these 3 tactics that I teach my clients: 1. Move your body: it doesn't have to be exercise but move. There's a great technique called shaking that helps to release pent up emotions. It changes the state of your body and that's exactly what you're looking for. You want to break the state of mind you're in and come back down into your body. Do it for 5 mins, you'll feel the difference. 2. Share the thoughts: Sharing your thoughts and feelings with a trusted advisor such as a therapist or counsellor or if that is inaccessible writing it down. Doing this will help to complete the thought. Rumination, the constant turning it over in your mind, keeps you looping and stuck. Saying or writing it helps to close a loop and often fresh perspective comes. 3. Be kind to yourself: Things have been hard and it's okay to not know which direction to turn or what to do to get out of the loop. Remind yourself, you're doing the best you can in that moment. We can only live one second at a time and in that one second you can take a deep breath, sigh it out and remember whilst it may be hard you're managing just this moment. Keep doing that as much as you need to. It will keep your brain focused on a more neutral or even more optimistic pattern. We really do have all the tools within us, it can be normal to lose our way at times, having a support system or community can be a vital life line for getting back on track. If you need guidance to unmuddle your thinking and move through this stage, book your free Life Reset Consult. Link in bio. #therapytips #personaldevelopmentcoach #lifecoachingtips #embodimentcoach

I know only too well the feeling of not knowing who i am: First without my job, the first time I was made redundant, the second without being a mother, the third without being a wife. So, not insignificant life changing events to go through. And at first i thought: "yay, I'm going to make this the best thing to ever happen to me." Then: "oh, where do I even start, actually.... hang on... what do I want now." And the one thing and it's been a really tough lesson, was to not pressure myself to have all the answers right now, and to embrace the process of exploration and growth. Infact, my own coach still reminds me to play with it one day at a time, instead of needing to know every step. So, my hard earned lived advice as well as my professional recommendation for you, if youre in this state right now.... Allow yourself the space to evolve and change, and trust that the answers will come in due time. Additionally, try journaling or engaging in creative activities to reflect on your thoughts and emotions, allowing you to gain clarity and insight into who you are becoming. Ultimately, be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this period of change and uncertainty. Remember, it's okay not to have all the answers right now. Life unfurls and evolves and you can have as many iterations as you need. Book your Free Life Reset Consult if you need support to help you unmuddle and refocus. Link in bio. #personalgrowthjourney #therapist #lifecoaching #newlife #identitycrisis #therapyworks

The only way is through as they say. Reasons why you may be feeling a sense of emptiness if you are on the edge or going through a major life challenge or change: 1. Loss of identity: Life transitions often involve changes in roles, relationships, and circumstances that can disrupt a person's sense of self and identity. When you lose a familiar sense of who you are or what your purpose is, you may feel adrift and empty. 2. Loss of connection: Life transitions can also lead to changes in social connections and support networks, leaving you feeling isolated and disconnected from others. The loss of close relationships or a sense of community can exacerbate feelings of emptiness and loneliness. 3. Uncertainty and fear: Life transitions often involve uncertainty, change, and the unknown, which can trigger feelings of insecurity and fear about the future. The lack of a clear direction or plan can leave you feeling lost and unsure of their next steps, leading to a sense of emptiness and unease. 4. Unmet expectations: Life transitions may not always go as planned, leading to unmet expectations and disappointments. When your hopes and dreams are not realised, you may feel disillusioned and empty, questioning your abilities, worth, and purpose. 5. Lack of fulfillment: Life transitions can highlight a mismatch between your current circumstances and your values, goals, and desires. When you feel that your life lacks meaning, purpose, or fulfillment, you may experience a deep sense of emptiness and existential angst. By identifying and addressing these underlying factors, you can work towards finding healing, meaning, and fulfillment during times of transition. Seeking support from a therapist can also help you navigate these challenges and find ways to cope and thrive during times of change. Book Your Free Life Reset Consult. Link in bio. #therapyworks #lifejourney #changemylife #growthmindset #mindsetshift #navigatingchange #newlife #startingover

35% of people said that they didn't believe that their thoughts were one of the leading causes of mental health issues. You'll remember, a couple of weeks back I ran a poll on whether you could believe that your thoughts were one of the leading causes of mental health issues. Loads of you took that poll, thank you for participating. The results have been fascinating to me. I wanted to put a scenario to you to see if I could influence you either way to change your mind on what you answered. ⬇️ Sarah, in her early 40s, has been focused on her career most of her life, she's had relationships, but none ever matched up to the love she had with a boyfriend she had for 5 years in her late 20s. She wanted to marry him and was devastated when he told her he didn't feel the same way. Now, having reached a place in her career where she seems unable to move up because the heavily toxic workplace only favours a certain few, she finds herself becoming hopeless about her life and her future. Currently, her partner doesn't seem interested in her, they discussed trying for children, but if they could even muster the energy to be intimate it'd be a miracle. Sarah spends a lot of time thinking about how things never work out for her, how she's never been the favoured one, she does all the work everyone else gets all the credit. She thinks about how she would be a great mother if only she had a chance and now she's probably too old, too set her ways. The pain of this can be gripping, so she pushes it aside. These thoughts carry on for over 6 months and now she's remembering all the bullying remarks she got teased with at school and all the times she's been rejected in relationships. She's concluded that she really is just worthless and going nowhere fast so why even bother with anything anymore. Questions for you to ponder: 1. Did Sarah's circumstances create her thoughts and therefore her feelings of Hopelessness and low self worth? Or 2. Did Sarah's thoughts about her circumstances create her eventual feelings of Hopelessness and low self worth? Let me know 1 or 2 in the comments if you'd like to share. #hope #therapy #mindsetshift

Are you tired of feeling stuck and held back by self doubt? Do you resonate with any of the following: - Low Self Esteem / Self Worth - Fear - Anxiety - Hopelessness - Depression - Frustration - Pent up anger that can't go anywhere - Guilt - Shame - Loneliness - Stagnation - Lack of Motivation - Procrastination - Perfectionism - Chronic Stress - Burnout - Fear of rejection - No intimacy Could you imagine a life where the inner critic that supports the above feelings gets silenced? And then your confidence starts to soar!? Well, if you are ready for that and ready to make a change to let go of all those thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back you may want to book yourself onto my Smashing Limiting Beliefs with BWRT programme. It's one of my most popular and it goes right back to the stages of your life where these beliefs where formed. The ones currently holding you back from living a more content, peaceful, confident life. The results from this programme are life changing with even the most experienced therapists I trained with were blown away by the results in their own lives. There could be just 4 weeks between you and your new ways of being! I'll pop the link to book in the comments for you to book your first session. #therapy #limitingbeliefs #mindsetshift

For the past 4 days I have had friends staying with me from down South. We've been climbing waterfalls, hills, walking the countryside, drinking beautiful red wine, eating great food, enjoying the challenge of conquering things on paper we may not do. And luckily the sun has been out for all of it. But, it's a really wonderful reminder that we can get so wrapped up in our lives, in our heads, become so isolated, especially when going through challenge and stress, that we forget the value and importance of a genuine support network. Community, friendships, sharing of ideas, laughter, listening to another's troubles, sharing perspectives. These are powerful tools in healing. When life is troublesome and you feel like you want to hide away and work it all out alone, I encourage you to reach out to a friend and if, like me, your friends live between 500 and 11000 miles away, find and build new community. And definitely get outside. . My advice for anyone looking to heal. Start here. Life is beautiful in its simplicity. We make it hard. #beautifullife #naturetherapy #mentalhealthawareness

A really cathartic journalling prompt to start to invite self compassion into your life is to write a letter to a younger you. One who struggled, felt different, alone or fearful. That deep part of you that can still get triggered when you're faced with certain situations. The one that makes you act "out of character" at times with emotional outbursts or irrational thinking. Doing it from the perspective of the older, wiser, lived experienced you can help bring insights that you didn't have at that younger age. The important part is the authentic compassion you deliver yourself. An example of one I could write to myself would go something like this: Dear younger me / part of me that fears feeling trapped, I know that you're scared, I can feel the fear rising up in my belly when we talk about committing to a new road, I feel it when my throat constricts and I stop everything I had planned and binge watch Netflix instead. I know that helps soothe you. The thing is, we're older now, we've amassed many more resources and skills. We've proven time and time again that we have courage and resilience. That things always work out. We've done lots of really hard things and been more than okay. So, I want to acknowledge that I feel you communicating with me through those slight shifts in physical state and the emotions that come with, I appreciate that you're just alerting me to what has previously been unsafe. I would love it if you trusted me as we move forward. We're going to step more into the unknown, we're going to committ to one path, JUST FOR NOW, we're going to play a little with this and then we'll reassess. It's not an all or nothing, make or break choice. And when we're done playing with this option, if it hasn't turned out to be a great choice. We will try playing with something else. It will be okay. You're safe to put down your guard and allow me of today to make choices that will help take us forward, so we don't have to keep repeating the cycle. Thank you for always looking out, that's appreciated more than you know. We've got this, rest little one. Now it's your turn ... your weekend project. #journal #therapy #youngerme

There are 7 common mistakes that you can make when starting and during therapy. To be clear, it doesn't make you wrong, because people take their own time. These things just delay the healing. They are resistant strategies. Your brains way of keeping you safe from the unknown, and therefore potential danger. But, knowing that and spotting the signs can be helpful. Awareness allows for choice to make adaptations. 1. Not being open and honest with your therapist about your thoughts and feelings. 2. Expecting immediate results and getting discouraged when progress is slow. 3. Comparing your progress to others and feeling inadequate. 4. Avoiding uncomfortable topics or emotions during therapy sessions. 5. Not following through with homework assignments or coping strategies suggested by your therapist. 6. Getting defensive or resistant to feedback or suggestions from your therapist. 7. Not prioritising self-care outside of therapy sessions, leading to burnout or slow progress. There is tons I could say on each of these point, but for today I'll just list them. Are they relatable to you when you realise you've been avoiding doing some of the healing work? #healing #therapy #reset

Today I'm sharing 1 thing that changed my life. What changed yours? Let me know if you want me to explain more about BWRT and I will share more on that.

"I can't do that! I'm far too old!" How many times have you said that to yourself? When I was in my 20s, I really wanted to do an MBA, but it was going to take 2 years part time whilst I worked full time. And I remember thinking to myself, wow, I can't do that, I'll be 27 by the time I finish, that's crazy. Too long. I'll be too old by then. I think about that now, in my 40s, and I think "sorry, what? Too old?" But, as a woman, I picked up beliefs that I should be concentrating on making sure someone loved me, so I could start a family, settle down... be a mother, be a wife. Why would I need an MBA for those things.? So, wouldn't make sense to go and spend 2 years taking my focus away from finding the love of my life. It's not that my parents raised me this way, they raised me to be independent, but it was a generally accepted societal conditioning. I'm nothing if I'm not married with children by the time I'm 30. In fact, we had a family member once tell my sister and I that women, like Christmas, get put on the shelf after 25. It. Blows. My. Mind. So, it took me a while and a lot of deconditioning to get to the place where I realised and accepted: I am in control of my life. I can do what I want with it when I want to. Since that decision and belief was laid down, I've become a life long learner and I'm living my life for me. Not to fit in. I'm becoming the me I always knew I could be. What belief do you need to lose to become the you that you always knew you could be?! Let me know in comments or DM me.

Have you ever looked around you or in the mirror and thought: "How did I get here?" "Where has the brightness in my eyes disappeared to?" " I used to smile and laugh all the time, when did that change?" Or even: "Where did my life go?" You may feel lost, disconnected, and struggle to make sense of your place in the world. This can be really common for people who are transitioning from one phase of life to another. One day, you wake up and really see yourself. As though you'd been sleep walking for the past however many years. This is a positive sign. It's a sign that you're getting ready for change. Change happens in stages and they're not always linear. The model below is the Stages of change model which is used to describe any change - from a habit, addiction or leaving your old life/partner/career behind and creating a new way of being. Everyone is different in terms of length of time taken between each and some people cha cha between them for a while. 1. Pre- contemplation: You may not be seriously thinking about changing and are definitely not interested in any help. You may even defend your situation or habits, which could come across as defensive. But really, you just don't see the "problem". Or you could be overwhelmed by the idea of doing something about it. 2. Contemplation: You may be weighing up the pros and cons of what you want to change, modify, etc. Perhaps you're gathering information, definitely feeling some conflicting emotions about what needs to happen. Especially regarding the long term benefits vs the short term discomfort that may arise. 3. Preparation/Determination: Now, you have made your decision to start taking action, it may be small manageable changes, goal setting, feeling more determined and comfortable with the choice you've made. This stage is really about setting yourself up to succeed. 4. Action: This is active behaviour, situation modification. You have taken the steps towards making the change and seeing it through. You may have support from a therapist or family, you have coping strategies you are utilising and you are in implementation mode. Continued in comments....

Gracefully navigating my life transition....

Do you receive my emails? This week in my email I told a story about the old woman of the cave and the tapestry of life and how no matter what happens in life and we unravel or get knocked down, if we find a thread that starts to shine for us we can use that to start again. Anytime. Everytime. It's a beautiful fable and a lovely reminder that you create your future starting with what you have. In every email there is always a reflective question for you to ponder and journal on to support your growth and personal development. Each week I receive such lovely from people to say they can't wait to read my emails. Which makes writing them a joy. If you're not on my list to receive and want to be. Drop me a comment below and I'll send you the link to subscribe. You can choose which freebie you want from 30 days of reflective journal points or a hypnosis audio or none if you choose too. ⬇️ Just let me know below by saying "me". #storytelling #navigatingchange #personalgrowth

One of my absolute favourite moments with a client is when they repeat back to me, as though it's the most natural thing they've been doing forever, something we've been working on. Those unconscious changes when the penny just drops and they adopt it as part of their life. This week with a client I actually did a fist pump in the air and yelled "Yes!!!!" That's how happy I was for them with the breakthrough moment they had. I use my own body a lot to feel into my client's energy and I observe very closely shifts in posture, micro facial expressions, breath patterns and I listen to the quality and tone of their voice. When we introduce a topic or sometimes just a statement and it creates a constriction or softening in their body, I feel it in my own body. That's just connection and intuitive, authentic relating. So, when a client has a major breakthrough, it shows up easily. They soften. Subtly. It's like they lighten from the heavy load that was weighing them down. Their eyes are less haunted, their smile is less forced, the sit or stand straighter. They're brighter. Their energy field takes up more space. And honestly, it's the most beautiful thing to witness in another person. That placing down of the noise, criticism, rumination and worry. That acceptance of "I may not know what happens next but I feel good in this moment." If you're looking for your own breakthrough and need support and guidance to get you there, DM me for the link to book for your Reset Your Life Consult. Because your life deserves you to shine as brightly as you can. No matter what it looks like now or in the past. I work with all the hard stuff to break free from. #breakthrough #therapistsofinstagram #therapyworks

Does 30 mins walking outside per day keep the doctor away? I'm not sure but it'd be good theory to test. Don't you agree? Well, I know it certainly keeps my personal trainer happy! Being in nature helps to co-relate your emotional system and exercise has been proven to have significant cognitive and neurotransmitter benefits. So, benefits overall brain health. These pictures are all from my local surrounding, I love to walk around to clear my head, improve my focus for the day and improve my overall ability to be regulated for the day. It's important as a therapist and coach that my own nervous system is regulated and that I have the emotional and mental capacity to hold space for my clients each day. I am fortunate to have nature right on my door step. Sometimes if I'm feeling overwhelmed, yes it still happens, I take 30 mins to get into the woods surrounded by trees and walk it off. How do you support yourself when you need to clear your head? Share your favourite head clearing top with me in the comments.

*Controversial opinion* I am not a fan of affirmations filled with toxic positivity. Hear me out... Many of my clients are fuelled by self hatred, low self esteem or deep fear. It would be remiss to have them repeat something positive that they were not ready to connect with. Because, it wouldn't mean anything and in most cases would set off the critical mind into a tirade of further spiralling negativity. Not helpful for anyone. So, it may surprise you to know that I have a small post it on my desk that says "Everything always works out." In fact, it's even my laptop screensaver. It's there as a reminder for me, to stop the fear that can still arise and trust myself. My mind still wants to fight it at times, but the part of my that chooses self compassion says, "sometimes not in the way I want and that's okay too." But, you'll notice it doesn't say "I trust myself or "I am the driver of my own destiny" or anything like that. Because, those things still bring up fear for me, so it would be counterintuitive. Same for my clients. "I am" statements can be triggering and hard, so instead I encourage them to remind themselves daily that they did what they could with the resources they had for the day. Always starting with the word "Today" for those where "I" statements are not helpful. Or another favourite is... "Just for today... I will .... accept that I did what I could." Comment below and tell me what non toxic affirmation would you or do you have on your desk or repeat to yourself? #controversialopinion #toxicpositivity #affirmations

What if healing, change or growing yourself wasn't hard? What if all it took was a 1% shift 🤔 I talk alot to my clients and in my email newsletter about the 1% a day shift and how after a year you've shifted course without really noticing. When I was going through a difficult period of deciding whether I wanted to leave my husband, which took 6 months to actually make the final decision, I spent time doing things to see how much of my problem was me and the way I felt about myself. I started really small. I had my hair cut back into a style that I recognised as me. I increased my days at the gym, on non gym days I had the 7 min exercise app and I'd do that or I'd do my walk faster or longer until my head stopped being noisy. I made plans with friends more, I studied a new course. On and on, I just did only 1 thing a day that helped me feel like I was in a better, stronger, less broken place. On days I needed to face really hard things like: knowing I may never meet anyone else or never have children, the hardest thing I've ever had to grieve, I allowed myself the space to grieve and mourn that part of me. And my 1% for that day was more nurturing. Now, I'm 5 years post that decision. And, whilst the journey has been a roller coaster. I'm not the same person as I was then. The way I show up in my current relationship, the way I treat myself, the fears and worries I had are not the same. I'm now the most content I've ever felt in my life and no things aren't perfect or easy but I changed. Slowly, in a small way every day. And you can too. Whatever life transition you're currently facing, keep the decisions small and manageable. Tackle one thing at a time. Everything can wait regardless of other people's agendas. Just do your one thing that gets you to a more stable and content place every day. #lifejourney #navigatingchange #divorcerecovery

How do you like to spend your weekends? For me it's being surrounded by nature. Living in Scotland makes that easy. My boyfriend and I often go to the West Coast or Lochs in the trossachs and we can definitely be found at farm shops or small cafes having soup and a sandwich on a Sunday. Last year I set myself the challenge of visiting all the waterfalls in and around within 2 hour drive. I have over 60 on the list but not sure how many in my chosen radius. So far I've done 8, because it feels like we've had non stop rain since last summer and I'm definitely a fair weather walker. Being near water, helps my mind clear and climbing hills gives me new perspective to go into the week. Share your go to weekend reset in the comments. #weekends #weekendreset #seatherapy

During the initial consultation, prospective clients often ask me what type of therapy or techniques I use, so I thought I'd share with you too. I am not a one size fits all type of practitioner & I add new tools to my therapy & coaching toolkit on an ongoing basis. Because every person is unique, every situation requires something different. A client once said to me, " I have never met any other therapist like you, and I've been going to therapy for 30 years. You never give up and if solution A didn't resolve the issue, you keep trying other things. " I'm just determined and I believe that no matter how resistant your pain is, we'll get there in the end. So some of the techniques I use are: - Brain working recursive therapy (BWRT) I'm trained to level 2 plus many adjacent techniques - Internal Family Systems - Compassion Focused Therapy - Schema therapy - Neuroanalytical techniques - Releasing shame binds - Motivational Interviewing - Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy - Brief psychotherapy & humanistic centred therapy for depression - Trauma informed therapy - Attachment theory - Grief counselling & therapy techniques - NLP techniques including rewind - Clinical hypnotherapy including gestalt and ACT - Coaching - personality typing - Breathwork - Somatic release work - Visualisation - Jornalling therapy - CBT - positive psychology - Strengths focused - Spiritual focused coaching - past life regression and future life progression techniques - desire mapping - boundary work As you can see my toolkit is weighty and at the moment I'm completing an embodiment coaching diploma to address the missing part in my toolkit, using the body to heal and soothe the mind. And I'll complete brainspotting techniques this year too. As with everything I have limitations and I'll always refer on if I think I can't help or I know someone more suited. So it's a bit tough to answer what method do I use because I pull from a range of things that will support you. Healing often isn't linear, so it happens in your time. I do everything to overcome resistance. Any questions? Any you'd not heard of? Lmk in comments.

Please excuse the outfit and look I was going Personal Training and had just returned from a walk and wanted to record my thoughts whilst it was on my mind vs worrying about putting professional clothes on. I'd love your thoughts on the topic. Let me know in the comments what you think.

Sometimes my client's results absolutely floor me. Take Carole, for example. When we first met, she was in a state of functional freeze - appearing high-functioning on the outside but feeling overwhelmed, unseen, and unloved on the inside. Her life felt like a never-ending cycle of stress and burden, with no end in sight. But after just 4 weeks of working together, something clicked for Carole. She found her voice, started asserting her needs, and began to truly value herself. In the months that followed, Carole's life took a complete 180-degree turn. What once felt impossible now seemed within reach. She no longer felt suffocated in her relationship, but instead found a renewed connection with her partner. Her career soared as she was promoted, and she even took on advocacy work for the less fortunate. Carole started a support group in her community and embraced a future filled with excitement and possibility. Witnessing clients like Carole rise from their lows to reach such incredible highs is what fuels my passion for this work. It's a reminder of the transformative power within each of us. As Howard Thurman once said, "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Carole's story is a testament to the power of self-discovery and the resilience of the human spirit. #transformation #successstory #lifecoach #growthmindset

Even though, I have been a therapist and coach for over 12 years, I know what it's like to struggle with feelings of fear, to feel like you no longer know who you are, what you want or what you like, to go through huge life changes that are scary as hell. Because for years, that struggle consumed my life. I know what it’s like to wake up and feel like you have no purpose, like everyone else has it together and here you are just failing at life and flapping around in the wind trying to hold it all together. Scared to breathe out for fear that something else will come your way. And to lay down at night thinking about all the wrong paths I took, the things I could've done, how alone I am, how noone understands what it's like. It got so bad that I had to admit defeat, take time off work and take the pills the doctor offered, because I would have panic attacks at the most inconvenient times where I would just collapse and hyperventilate. So, believe me, I know how tough and consuming it can be to feel this way. BUT, I also know what it’s like to be on the other side of it. To feel fulfilled, to feel at peace, to love the life I have created since then. To wake up ready for the day doing what I enjoy to go to bed with peace in my head and in my heart. Feeling like I contributed. Like I connected to life in the way that matches my value system. The best part is people always tell me now how being around me brightens their day. And, I want this kind of life for everyone! That’s why I do the work that I do. Even though there’s a part of me that thinks I’m sharing too much about my struggles and my darkest moments, my deeper truth is that I care way too much about helping people live their lives with peace, fulfilment and joy, to let that fear stop me. Because I know how painful it can be when you feel lost, alone and scared. And, I have dedicated myself to helping LOTS of people move through the changes they are facing into a life of deep contentment. If you are ready to make a change, I'm offering 5 Free Reset Your Life Consults to support you towards a life of fulfilment. LMK if I can be of service to you or someone you care about.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you can start over at any time! You know... even though I have been providing therapy and coaching to clients for over 12 years and I am constantly adding to my skill set on a monthly basis with new techniques and tools to support my clients to get the transformation that they have been looking for, I have not been as vocal or connecting as I should have been and as a result not making the impact I know that I’m here to make. Because, I feel that there's so much stigma, noise and misinformation that goes along with personal development, psychology and mental health, and I've been busy burying myself in books and courses, I haven’t shared much about my story and why I’m so passionate about my work. But that changes this week! I am going to share a bit more of my story in the coming days. Why? Because I know that there are a lot of people I could help who have gone through similar things to me - major life transitions and changes - losing their identity, fearing what comes next, grieving a life or future they lost and who want to move forward into something new that feels good and in alignment with their future dreams. Being happy and at peace again. I’ll share more of my story tomorrow… But for today, if you would like to see me make a bigger and more positive difference in the lives of a LOT more people,... Will you please drop me a note of support below? And maybe invite a friend to join the page who may benefit.

Stress is just fear in disguise. But you have the power to change that! 💪 Here are 3 simple ways to kickstart your journey to a more peaceful mind: - Change your perspective and or situation, - move on from what you can't control, and - accept the things you cannot change. Avoiding feelings can make stress work. The best way to work through stress is to accept and allow the feelings to exist without needing to get consumed by them. They will pass within 90 seconds as long as you don't attach thoughts and stories to them. Learning to emotionally regulate is some of the most powerful work you can do to improve the quality of your life. #mindsetshift #stressmanagement #fearless

Embracing life's challenges is part of the journey towards living your best life. Remember, growth and happiness are a continuous process, not a final destination. No matter what you're going through right now, you don't need to see the whole picture. You just need to know the next step. Knowing how you want to feel can be a helpful guide. Keep moving forward with strength and resilience 💪 #lifejourney #growthmindset

There is an important lesson in the way William and Catherine were villified in the absence of information. People went off and made up their own stories, some ridiculous and some downright disgusting. But! This just shows you how your mind works when you don't have all the facts, you jump to conclusions, fill in the gaps with your own story. For example, a really common example is in relationships. Let's say your partner is really busy at work, but a couple of days before you'd had an argument and the repair hadn't quite been made. You've asked them to please be home at a particular time as you have a meeting later that evening to attend. But they come home late, maybe only 30 mins. However, in that 30 mins you could go into: - why do they always disrespect me, -Why do I not matter to them, -they must be having an affair, -they're making a fool of me, -that's it I'm done here, I won't be disrespected... and on and on it goes until you've made yourself so angry, sad or bitter and when they finally walk through the door you're so frosty and have convinced yourself it was because they don't really love you. In the absence of information we make up stories based on our own, often, misaligned thinking and belief patterns. Is this something your guilty of? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. #think #therapistsofinstagram #mindcontrol

Happy International Day of Happiness. I love to celebrate this date in the calendar. On this day 5 years ago I made the very conscious choice to take back control of my life and start to be happier every day. Whilst happiness ebbs and flows, striving for it unexpectedly brings satisfaction and with deep satisfaction with life, more glimmers of happiness are available in each day. The last 5 years haven't been a walk in the park, there have been some incredibly dark moments, but being back in control has changed my life in significant and much better ways. What could you do today to choose happiness today and every day for the rest of the year? Check the link in my bio for my 30 days to happiness mini course to support your journey to finding your happiness north star. #happinessday #springequinox #newlife #startingover

Its time to give guilt the boot right out of your life. Check out the link in my bio for a short course to support you. #guilt #guiltfree #stress

Emotional monitoring can have us believing we're just so good at reading people, we learn to survey, monitor every facial movement, twitch, clench of the jaw, dissect every smile. It's an unconscious way of making sure we don't behave inappropriately so that a reaction that we're not prepared for occurs. It's a strategy of unhealed trauma to ensure we're safe, always being on our best behaviour so as not to upset the apple cart and create a tumultuous environment. But is it really serving you? Let's chat about it. DM to book your free Consultation. #trauma #therapyworks #stressedout #stress

In my newsletter this week I wrote about how before a breakdown, a major anxiety attack or panic attack there are small clues that can be found in your day to day behaviours, thoughts and feelings. When we become more aware of our repetitive patterns that are mostly unhealthy then we can have more choice to change them. Awareness leads to choice. Start to recognise your patterns and also what is it masking or filling in for. It could loneliness, deep dissatisfaction, not feeling good enough, unworthiness, grief, etc. Associating the pattern to the underlying cause will help you to build more association so that when it comes time to make a choice to change it then you know what the root cause may be or even the symptom of the root cause if it goes deeper. To your healing! If you'd like to work with me privately I have some availability at the moment. You can book you free Consultation here: https://tidycal.com/liferesetspecialist/initial-consult Or check the link in my bio for 30 days free email coaching. Laura x

If this sounds like you, know that you're not alone. And whilst we may not have met as yet... I see you, I probably know you alot more than would feel comfortable. But, being seen is so powerful and healing! So healing to put it all down for one moment and share that heaviness. Connect with me. I've been through it, I have my messy past and reality. It's all good. We can heal one day at a time.

Unlock your full potential and achieve true inner peace with this free 30-day email coaching programme. Gain self-awareness, cultivate self-love, and deepen your relationship with yourself through our free email coaching. Start your journey towards a happier and more fulfilling life today. Link in first comment. #SelfDiscovery #InnerPeace

Trauma is not what happens to us, but rather how we interpret what happened to us. We develop many strategies for avoiding vulnerability and preventing ourselves from ever allowing ourselves to be in that situation again. Many times, we develop strategies that end up hurting others because we failed to do the work to work through our thoughts and feelings about what happened to us. As adults, it is our responsibility to take accountability for our behaviour, our thoughts and feelings. Oftentimes, we know we are hurting another, but we don't do anything about it because it is making us feel better for a singular moment in time. Sometimes, that's not conscious. Or, maybe, we feel guilty, but we find a new strategy for not feeling that too. Regardless, we are responsible for healing ourselves. No one is coming to save us. Noone can do the work for us. It can be so hard to hear. But, the truth is, hurt people hurt people. Why not be the person who draws a line in the sand and says, "No more." Healing is one of the most courageous and kindest things that you could do for yourself. Regardless of how hard it is in the moment. Those people who show up and continually make the effort to change their thinking, their patterns and their perspectives, those are some of the most inspiring people in this world. If you do anything in 2024, commit to your future as a whole, continually healing person. Your Life may be richer and more fulfilling for it. You can do it, regardless of what you've been through. It may not be easy, but it'll be worth it long term.

All therapy is self healing, using your own innate guidance and wisdom. Book your free Consultation. Link in my bio.

Ready to change how your summer will start and your year will end? Get in touch, book your free confidential consultation. Link in first comment. #executivas #directors #highachievingwomen #changemylife #stressed #unhappy #therapistsofinstagram

Self compassion matters. Don't invalidate your experience because someone may have it worse than you. It's not a competition, it's not even perspective. It just is your experience for YOUR life. Be kind to yourself. Follow me for more self compassion wisdom. #selflove #selfcare #selfcompassionpractice #therapistsofinstagram #therapyworks #stressmanagement

Whether you're at Director level or mid level management or you have a job or lifestyle most people would give their left kidney for - if it doesn't make you happy and it's grinding you down - it's not worth the amount of life it's taking. Life is short, don't wait until you get your bonus, it may not happen, or someone else may pay you that monthly. Don't delay making a change because you can't see the way through right now. Just take the first step. Get support to help you gain clarity. Whether it's me or someone else, just make the first move and get that stress handled and managed. I have 4 slots for new clients, book your free Consultation.

How many times do you do this? The equivalent of putting a happy emoji on the end of a tough statement or emotion. When you're practicing positive thinking, but never actually allowed yourself to fully feel and process how hard the year may have been. Us, high functioning adults, do it alot. Us, avoid attachment strategists, do it alot. It's okay to acknowledge it was a hard year and leave it at that. Its okay for it to have been some of the hardest stuff you've dealt with. You're allowed to have someone sit with you in empathy and comfort and just be in that hard stuff with you. To acknowledge that yes, that sounds like it would've been rough to have 1 thing happen nevermind multiple. You're allowed to feel sad about it. Give yourself permission to just let something be what it was or is. Noone is asking you to wallow or play the victim but just allow for it to be what it was. You'll be okay allowing the compassion in. Big love for the hard days!

Have you been looking for happiness in all the wrong places? Happiness can be such an elusive concept for some people. I've had questions from clients like: "How do I know if I was truly happy, there were doubts there, so was I not happy?" Happiness is just one emotion in our entire repoitoire of emotions. When it's built on a flimsy foundation, it can be fleeing and very short lived. So how do you recognise Happiness? It's quiet, it spreads slowly through your body, you feel at ease, at peace, content. It stops the mind chatter for a bit and replaces it with silent emptiness. You're never going to find it in another person, alcohol/drugs/sex/food and your definite not finding it by ruminating on the past. DM if you're ready to uncover the true source of YOUR happiness.

Stressed out to the max, not able to know which way to turn anymore. Feeling like a bear that's getting poked from every angle, by everyone. Forget being able to keep a handle on your mood or your tone of voice. Pffft. Getting told to breathe, think more positively, just be happy, don't let things get you down. You've got this. Does that sound like your life for as long as you can remember gradually just building up until you explode? Do you long for your fairy godmother to magically make it all go away so you can just feel, well, something that's not tension or like the other shoe is about to drop. Do you want to be able to feel calm in any situation, feel like you can think straight again, feel like you can breathe normally, maybe even stop having neck and shoulder pain would be an excellent start? Then, check out my 30 days to a happier you. Its packed with therapeutic interventions and understanding to help you move from stressed out, barely surviving to feeling more grounded, more able to cope, having more capacity to make a plan for your future - that serves you! The link is in the bio. It's £99 and it's designed for you to go at your own pace in 4 easy weeks. Check it out. ⬆️

Negative self talk..... The way we talk to ourselves has a huge role to play in our overall mental wellbeing and stress levels. It plays such a big part in how much extra resilience we have for external stressors and other every day pressures. It also determines how we react and behave towards others. Imagine that you are telling yourself that you've done something bad or that you're not good enough and someone comes along and says something completely innocent, you may automatically (unconsciously) assume that they're thinking what you are about yourself which may cause you to react inappropriately. This how so many disagreements happen. Does this sound like you? Let's chat about fixing that.

Mental Health UK released a Burnout Report this week that provided some staggering insights! Most notably that 1 in 5 people in the UK took time off from work due to poor mental health due to stress or burnout. The conclusion was that employers didn't have anything in place to recognise the signs of someone's mental health deteriorating. Equally, that workers didn't feel like they could speak up. Do you recognise the signs in yourself when your mental health is declining? In the graphic I added 3 signs that can slip under the radar as being "ah I know I'm stressed, but it's not unusual." But, weeks and months of those seemingly innocent things can lead to the proverbial tower moment as its known in tarot. What are your top 3 signs when you know your getting to your limit and something needs to change? Let me know in the comments.

Finding deep meaning can be challenging, and without it, we often turn to pleasure for distraction. As a psychotherapist, I see many individuals numbing out with dopamine-driven activities. Let's explore the real reasons behind this behaviour and work towards finding true fulfilment and purpose. Sign up for my 30 days to happiness and mental wellness programme. Only £99 for the first 25 people to sign up. Filled with self development workbooks, healing hypnosis audios, mental wellness education. This will help you reset your life on a new trajectory towards a happier future. Link is in my bio. #MentalHealthAwareness #FindingMeaning #existentialdread #stress #burnout

Your script... Your belief systems... Your view of reality... Your perception... Call it what you will. If you have experienced pain, hurt, rejection, Abandonment, shame, guilt or another "difficult to deal" with emotion at any point in your life, chances are that your script needs an upgrade. How would you know? - you make repetitive mistakes that cause you pain - the thoughts in your head cause you so much stress - you are good at dropping "bombs" on things that are going well - you make snipping, snide and sarcastic remarks to things that are causing you pain rather than setting a solid boundary - you are preventing yourself from getting involved for the fear you may feel more pain These are just a few. Just as some beliefs get us through one period of our lives, they don't need to dictate our entire lives. Allow yourself to move forward to keep seeking satisfaction and joy. There only 2 permanent truths in your life: 1. when you have children they're your responsibility until they can be responsible for themselves and 2. We will all die at some point Everything else is up for negotiation and change. Especially the way we think.

Journalling is proven to enhance positive mental and emotional well-being. Sometimes, it can be tough to get started or think of what to write about every day, so I've created a few different types of journals to support your self development. Becoming more self aware, getting your thoughts out your head and working through some tougher prompts can help you to move through tougher emotions, behaviours and states. 5 mins a day to a healthier, happier, more confident you. The link to purchase the perfect one for you is in my bio. 🔝

Unlock a happier, healthier you with our 30 Day Mental Wellness Challenge. Take the first step towards balance, stress reduction, and overall well-being. Download now and make your mental health a priority.link in comments #MentalWellness #SelfCare #30DayChallenge

Boundaries. This was the theme of the week with my clients. To be very clear, I am not talking about being mentally or emotionally abused by someone. When you set a boundary or communicate how you feel and the other person doesn't like it and continues to push it berate you, don't feel the need to change your boundary or stance. If someone takes offence to you being true to your emotional, mental it physical state, it's not your responsibility to make it okay for them. All we can do is communicate clearly, honestly and with positive intent and regard. It could happen that your words trigger the person, but that is their emotional reaction that they need to manage. We need to stop making it okay, especially in families and relationships, that the we need to be everything the other person needs us to be at the expense of ourselves. Self regulation is imperative, understanding your triggers, judgements, behaviours so that you can manage those makes relational dynamics more powerful. We don't have to invalidate anyone's experience or emotions, but we also don't need to jump on the train to an argument about it. Creating healthy boundaries for your own emotional regulation is vital. Dealing with your thoughts, emotions and resultant behaviours will change your life more positively.

This is a question I get asked all the time. According to Dr Gabor Mate, there have been studies that show that if 100 people went to war, only 20 would return with PTSD. Those 20 it turned out suffered adverse childhood effects that created trauma in their body, mind etc. That trauma may have lay "dormant", or perhaps was expressed as "just the way you are" or a personality trait. Being in a highly stressful situation retriggers that trauma in those soldiers. Their ability to process, regulate their emotions or thoughts is lower than those without adverse childhood effects. Because of the way the brain forms, as a product of its environment (I have a YouTube video on this you can check out), it learns to create coping mechanisms to soothe and protect the system. These coping mechanisms are triggered whenever the brain experiences something as a threat to the system. That could be anything. For some people it's criticism, for some it's rejection, for others it's a fear of heights or public transport. The point is it shows up in a variety of ways. But for majority, and according to the school of thought of Dr Mate, everyone, it stems from experiences that happened as the brain was forming. Your brain then assigns patterns and puts other events into the same category, thereby creating triggers that may seem completely unrelated. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Book your free consultation using the button on my profile.

Over the years I've had clients get frustrated with their journey in therapy and the type of therapy I offer is a much quicker win than years of talk therapy, but every journey is different. Particularly when you have deep rooted shame, trauma, pain, have built your persona around maintaining safety and security at all times. There's also not a straight line from pain to happiness. Whatever happiness means anyway. There's a few strategies that can make the journey easier. 1. Accept that there will be great days and there will be really hard days. It will probably be that extreme. 2. Define what happiness means to you in every day terms, I.e. is it finding 5 mins to make yourself tea, is it not feeling a crushing sensation in your chest, is it feeling lighter and cheerier around people, etc. 3. Have compassion for the parts of you that are terrified of the changes taking place, they've kept you alive this long - their way. 4. Your pain doesn't exist alone. There could one major manifestation of multiple pieces of trauma, pain, shame, vulnerability, powerlessness, etc. this requires a multiprong approach. The beauty of being on this journey is that even the smallest shift of 0.01 degree to a new perspective will reap multiple benefits. If you're on a healing journey and you're finding it tough, you're doing an excellent job. 👌 keep going, keep reaching out to your therapist, your support network, keep expressing your feelings and thoughts. Let it out. You've got this! #healingtrauma #healingfromabuse #lifereset #pain #addiction #addictionrecovery #acceptance #therapytips #reallife #holdmyhand #psychologyhelp

A reminder. No matter where you are, what you see around you, you can make a new choice. No one says it'll be easy. No one says it'll be straight forward. No one says you need to do it alone. The smallest step in a new direction can lead to big changes over a period of time. Life is filled with opportunities, when you see it that way. Surround yourself with people who support your dreams and goals and let go of those who don't. Sending love to those who fighting internal demons, battles that noone knows anything about, fighting every day to chose the light. Keep going. You got this. #stress #painmanagement #addictionrecovery #addiction #mentallyexhausted #burntout #exhausted #relationships #pain #mentallydrained #endometriosis #healingquotes #traumainformed #traumasurvivor #trauma

I have been genuinely surprised, astounded and delighted to have been notified that I have been nominated for a tpot #ShineYourLight Award 2022. Thank you to those that nominated me. I am deeply appreciative for the nomination.

igns You’re Too Hard On Yourself It's important to be able to critique your work, but it's also important not to beat yourself up about it. A lot of people are too hard on themselves when they're working. They can't enjoy the process because their thoughts are filled with judgments and criticisms that only make them feel worse about their progress. In order for growth and change to happen we have to allow ourselves a chance at success as well as failure which means giving ourselves some slack! Stay on the look for these 5 things and if you notice a pattern emerging, practice kindness to yourself. #selfcriticism #mindreading #mentalhealthtips #taketimeoff #overachiever #peoplepleasers #critism #thoughts #selfcritic #bekindtoyourself

I remember the first time a therapist mentioned to me that I needed stronger boundaries with people in my life and at first I thought, "what, how would that even be possible?!" And it turned out, she was so right, it changed the amount of stress and strain I had from one particular relationship. Which in turn gave me more headspace and freedom to do other things I'd been wanting to do. Boundaries are the markers that define the limits of our world. They give us a sense of safety, and without them life can feel chaotic. But boundaries can also be limiting, preventing us from exploring new possibilities. We all need to find the balance between these two extremes in order to live well. Remember that setting the right boundaries can change your life in many ways, including but not limited to those in this image! Learn to set them. #boundaries #boundariesarehealthy #healthyboundaries #learntoloveyourself #selfrespectfirst #expectation #realisticexpectations #boundariesarebeautiful #boundarysetting #settingboundaries

Some of the most important words that you will read today that when understood will change your life when you take action to break this cycle. Self compassion is key ❤❤

What is magical thinking you might ask. Magical thinking as a child is a bit of make believe, wishing for something then having it happen and thinking you made it happen with your thoughts. As an adult it can develop into superstition, obsessive compulsive disorder, limerance, for some who live their lives by tarot cards or horoscopes or it could be the same as childhood, wishing for something and then it happens. In particular, prior tend to get stuck on other people who are not good for them or don't return their feelings. Reading and watching videos about twin flames and soul mates, etc. Now, I'm not saying that believing in spirituality is magical thinking. There is a spectrum of extremes to both ends, over reliance in self and on the opposite end disordered psychotic magical thinking. When something or someone dictates your life choices and your locus of control has shifted from internal to external there may be an argument for thinking patterns that are not serving you well. Healing the triggers of your childhood wounds and addressing your cognitive patterns will be incredibly beneficial and helpful.

Men are less adaptive to stress physiologically. Men have a higher mortality rate from suicide than women. Men are also more likely to drink alcohol, abuse drugs, and commit violent crimes when faced with the same level of adversity as women. It is hypothesised that this difference in adaptation may be due to differences in hormone levels between men and women after puberty or because of social pressures on men not to show emotion. Though there is little evidence for the reason why men are less adaptive to stress, depression and anxiety due to adverse situations seem to be more prevalent. For this reason, we must take into account these 5 risk factors for men's mental health and reach out to a friend whenever we recognise their tough situation! #mentalhealth #selfgrowth #selfWorth #selfCare #depressionawareness #depressionhelp #healingjourney #healing #mentalhealthrecovery

Vulnerability can be incredibly scary. But it really is where you can find the magic with the right people.

51 out of 100 people were found to have experienced between 3 and 7 different types of adverse (trauma inducing) effects in childhood. Just from this short excerpt of the study you can see that this lead to: 🌡 addictive behaviour 🌡life threatening and shortening disease 🌡 mental illness We can't change the past, we can only change how we react to it. By changing our reactions, we can positively impact our future. Is it time for you to grab hold of your future and choose life? You are worth it, regardless of what your mind tells you right now. It really can't think straight at the moment, but that can be fixed. Hit the like button if you're ready to choose a better tomorrow for you and your family. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Book your free, confidential online consultation: bwrtpractitioner.com/calendar Or choose from - A range of therapeutic journals A short, life altering course Hypnotic Audios

Trauma isn't always one single major incident. A lot of the time, it was small every day things... like: 😪 being told to "man up, big boys don't cry" 😪 having your feelings invalidated, 😪 being fearful of a parents or siblings mood or habits 😪 being told to "stop being such a cry baby" 😪 getting called a snowflake 😪 being bullied by a sibling and getting told to stop being a "clype or tital tale" 😪 needing to look after your siblings because you were the eldest and needed to be the responsible one 😪 putting yourself to bed because there was noone else to do it Small things over a long period can lead to feelings of worthlessness. The above scenarios invalidate a developing child's emotions, sense of belonging, their need for safety, affection, love and fun. That's what makes them traumas. They have a huge impact on our behaviours later on in life. Some of which are listed above, but there are countless more. Like holding down a job, relationships, friendships, being financially responsible. The repercussions are endless. But, awareness is the key to making the changes, seeking the change in your brain to disconnect the past and recreate your future. This is what Brain Working Recursive Therapy (BWRT) does. Share this with someone you love ❤ who may need support. ‐------------------------------------------------------------------- Book your free online consultation bwrtpractitioner.com/calendar

Examples of defensive behaviour. Communication and comprehension are vital in all of our relationships. Displaying defensive behaviour can trigger someone and can turn a small disagreement into a full blown argument unintentionally. Check in on your reactions.

There are many reasons why someone can feel unhappy. It can be easy to blame other people, or situations. Majority of the time it is the way we learn to think and see the world. Changing thinking patterns, not to be toxically positive, but to be more challenging to your own thoughts as they arise is helpful. Do you know what is causing you to feel unhappy right now? Let me know in the comments. #unhappy #sad #love #brokenheart #quotes #brokenquotes #broken #hurtquotes #heartbreakquotes #sadthoughts #brokenheartquotes #sadwords #sadedit #tumblrquotes #distress #hurtful #dailyquotes #depression #sadquotepage #deeptexts #sadness #hurtfeelings #loveyourself #depressed #relatablequotes #mood #sadedits #feelingshurt #lonelyquotes

I wish I could tell you that when you start therapy and you start healing that you'll always feel good. The reality is that we move up and down all the time. The down phase though, is helping you recalibrate and integrate all the work that you are doing. Yesterday, one of my clients felt that they had had a set back because they couldn't stop crying and didn't want to be around anyone. The week before however, they were feeling strong and empowered. Between sessions their system became flooded as they had been watching so many YouTube videos about trauma and went down a rabbit hole of labelling themselves. It had become so overwhelming that they couldn't handle thinking anymore and so numbed out for days. Information can be helpful, until its not. Healing can feel good, until it doesn't. We go through phases of recalibration when we learn new things, we are energetic beings. Be kind and compassionate to yourself on your journey. This is the biggest learning of all. The way healing happens for you, is perfect. The ups, the downs, the backwards spiral and the huge forward momentum. You're never in the same place. You've shifted regardless of how it may seem. ♥️ To book your free consultation bwrtpractitioner.com/calendar For other freebies or journals click the link in my bio. #healing #love #selflove #meditation #selfcare #mindfulness #mentalhealth #health #wellness #spirituality #motivation #inspiration #life #spiritual #yoga #peace #energy #happiness #spiritualawakening #loveyourself #positivevibes #quotes #nature #trauma #positivity #believe #healthylifestyle #consciousness #awakening #traumasurvivor

I hope I say this loud enough for all the people waiting to judge others by their own standards, which btw, may not be that great... Progress does not look the same for everyone. Regardless of what journey you are on, progress is one step, that's it. Just one. When you have been through life challenge after life challenge, trauma, toxic stress, adverse childhood events, and you start to shut down the biological systems that allow you to recognise subtle cues or you are dissociated or only feel shame, it can be really hard to see that small step you took as progress. Don't allow others to derail you. One step is all you need to start. If you are fighting to make changes in your life and are constantly battling with your own internal chatter and you still take that step, that can feel momentous. Only you know what is a win for you personally. Keep going. Share with someone who needs to know they're doing a great job!! Have a great week. -------------------------------------------------------------------- To book your free confidential consultation: 🌐bwrtpractitioner.com/calendar 📲WhatsApp 📩Email Links in the bio.

(Swipe through...) I remember the first time a therapist told me I needed to relax, I thought... is she joking, I paid £80 for this garden variety advice?! Until, I started to use the knowledge I have about the biochemical responses in the body and mapped that to the way the brain works and is impacted by our internal and external environment constantly. The saying " you can't heal in the same environment you got sick in" is an overused truism for a reason. Learning to reduce your body's reliance on cortisol, adrenalin, noradrenaline, especially as someone who has been through so much in life, is a key strategy in your healing process. This can be the hardest thing you ever do. Imagine if you're used to keeping yourself busy so the time, so you don't have time to think or feel, how scary slowing down can feel. Imagine if you use food, a substance, sex, other people, games, alcohol, etc to mumb yourself, how giving that up can feel like such a huge step. When you have deep pain, shame and trauma the strategies you use to avoid the pain, conversely keep you in the stress continuum. Learning how to invite calm into your life without flooding your system with difficult emotions and memories is a crucial first step to creating new strategies to release trauma. Doing therapy that doesn't involve retriggering traumatic incidents and unpacking them is equally key. Regression to cause is NOT a good trauma healing strategy. Deactivation of the emotional memory driving the current behaviour is a good strategy. There's zero need to relive trauma in therapy. You want to access only enough of a memory to make a neural change. But first... it's true, you need to calm the body to access the mind safely. It's not garden variety advice. It's science. It's energy. It's how the body functions. Practicing safe relaxation techniques will help you to find balance so that you can bring back the executive, non impulsive, part of you back online. Do reach out if you need support with this. #traumainformed #traumasurvivor #traumatherapy #traumabonding #healingtrauma #healingfromabuse #cptsd #healingjourney #traumarecovery #traumahealing

Feeling unfulfilled, unhappy, and frustrated and can’t tell why😓? ⬇ ✅ Having expectations towards people and situations ✅ Invalidation and putting yourself down ✅ Comparing yourself with others ✅ Not being realistic about your beauty standards ✅ Bad company and yielding to social trends and pressure Pst: Take time to understand who you are, how you feel, and what exactly you want. Work on these goals every day and don’t forget to cut yourself some slack and take a leap of faith🧘♀️. Don’t forget to save this post and share it with a 💝 one. Have a good weekend. #unhappiness #mentalhealth #society #humanmind #psychology #pressure #instagood #love #loveyourself #happiness #liveyourlife #freedom #mindfulness

Being judgmental is one of those bad habits that tend to be detrimental to your overall mindset. It’s jumping to conclusions and opinions, most critical and negative ones of ourselves. So why should you put an end to this bad habit? ✅ It is okay not to have all the answers. ✅ There’s much more from what we are focused on. ✅ Our thinking is a result of negative past thinking( which we can change) ✅ When someone else is nice to use, we tend to want to do more for them, why wouldn't we employ the same strategy to ourselves? Compassion and understanding help us to feel good. Striding away from being judgmental is a great step to improve the quality of our wellbeing and improving the quality of our relationships too. Have you ever been judgemental of your own growth? Type YES or No below ⬇. #mentalhealth #judgingme #curiosity #judgingpeople #judgingothers #judgmentalpeople #pharisees #thoughts #loveyourneighbour #loveyourneighborasyourself #heaven #loveothers #loveeveryone

Judgmental people fall into the category of unsafe people⚠ Being around them drains your energy, and if you share a close relationship with them, they could have some detrimental effects on your mental health which could be hard to reverse. But to have an idea of what you’re getting yourself into, checking the hints they leave behind could be just enough. Check out what to look for from the infographic ⬆ and be sure to leave a 👍 #judgmental #judgment #love #judgementalpeople #christian #relationships #growth #life #racism #judging #selfawareness

If your compassion doesn’t include you, it’s incomplete💫 See… We too often are too hard on ourselves. It’s something subconscious, hence, it takes some time to rewire and start practicing self-compassion and self-love💝. Take great care of yourself, do something you enjoy every day, and be patient with yourself. -------‐----------------------------------------------‐----------- Laura Steventon BWRT practitioner & Clinical Hypnotherapist - specialising in helping those who life feels like it just keeps going wrong! To book your free consultation Email | Website | WhatsApp All details in bio. #passion #instagood #loveyourself #mentalhealth #wellbeing #selflove #happiness

Mental inflexibility could steal away your mental sanity in the long term. When you’re constantly living on autopilot, you don’t think things rationally which means life is happening to you instead of vice versa. The point I'm driving at? Be willingly present in every waking hour and give your best. Know what you want, move on from the past, and practice emotional dependence. For resourceful content aimed to boost emotional and mental welfare, check out more posts on my feed. #mentalhealth #mentalinflexibility #inflexibility #rigidty #humanhealth #psychologytips #psychologyhelp #psychologist #mindandbehavior #wellbeing

Impulsive reactions could break healthy relationships, stable jobs, or even get someone locked away for a very long time⚠ Not to mention, all these hurtful aftermaths filled with regrets could have been evaded with just a few seconds of prudence. To rationally handle challenging situations, ask yourself the following questions before reacting. ✅ Do I clearly understand the emotion/s I’m feeling? ✅ Did I just have a bad day that might have led to this? ✅ Do I have some time to think this through before addressing it with the facts? ✅ Can I walk away, process these emotions before responding to them? ✅ How best can I express how I’m feeling? A great way to practice this sort of regulation is to always take a second or two before responding to anything. This not just gives you the chance to come up with a better way of responding, but also gives you psychological power over the other person. Constant self-improvement comes a long way in improving the quality of your life. I can help you advance personally and in your career. Simply check out my site in bio ⏫ then share with someone you💝 #emotions #emotionmanagment #managingemotions #health #mentalpeace #questions #askyourself #instagood #psychologytoday #emotionsmatter